Process in Action or How to Succeed At Sucking Eggs.

 One of the broader approaches to cosmology is asking those sticky questions of who am I and sometime why me?

I find myself being both amused and annoyed at the universe for the moment. Remember a few posts back when I quoted a fellow priest that No man escapes from their wyrd? I could have also followed that with be careful what you wish for.

My wyrd at the moment seems to be struggling with codependency and worth issues. Specifically shame at my own happiness or that somehow my being happy isn't as important as the other people in my life and their happiness.  Confused? Its okay. I'll break it down.

A common statement in my house is "If it wasn't for you, I'd be able to do x" X could be anything from quitting a job thats being a problem to taking a longer shower because there's not enough hot water in the hot water heater.  I have heard rumors that for non-codependent people this is a pretty simple mathematical equation of boundaries and what resources are readily available. You deal with it, make compromises and move on.  I hear statements like that and I automatically assume that I have fucked something up and that I either need to immediately stop for the other person or somehow make sure that what resources I do have are completely used towards the other person and their happiness.

This being the season for balance between light and dark or balance in all things, the quandary for me becomes how to have self worth and good boundaries without being a total dick to those around you and how to have compassion without being perceived as too soft.

That process for me being a constant reminder to ground, center, shield and seek advice when needed and the reminder that this too shall pass.

Giving Thanks For Manifested Goals.

In Wicca, we can spend a lot of energy being focused on spells and workings without always stopping to give thanks for what has been manifested. As I stated in my post on Mabon, this is the time of year that is very beneficial for looking back and acknowledging the good that has manifested for us and through us. 

Last week on Facebook and Google+ I announced that I am receiving an award for my customer service at work. My coworker is also receiving the same award.  In the process of preparing to receive the award, I am noticing how much my view point has changed over the years mainly from the coworker's reaction compared to my own. My coworker is uncomfortable with being publicly acknowledged for her work. She doesn't want to be seen by anyone let alone have to thank the company for rewarding her. 

In Ifa, there is a saying that when you prosper I prosper. I do not like having to go up in front of people. However, there are times when the needs of the many out way the needs of the few or the one as a certain movie once pointed out. In this case, my clinic is one of the smaller clinic's and we are treated like the red-headed step child in a fairy tail meaning that are needs are put at the bottom of the pile. I view my accepting of the award and working hard to exceed company guidelines as ultimately beneficial not just for the patient who is receiving the customer service but for my clinic and company as well. The more my clinic being brought up in a positive light, the more the people in power will be willing to give us the funding we need. As much as I would like to say it is purely out of the kindness of my heart, there is a bit of a mercenary approach to it too.  

There is more than just the clinic stuff going on though that is positive. I use to never be very comfortable just sitting with myself. I always had to have some sort of distraction. I appreciate my own company a lot more. As I resolve some of those issues that I wanted to distract myself from I am doing less over eating. I am also being a lot more trustful of other people and allowing them more access to my interior. 

That is not to say that I am perfect in anyway but there is growth and it is exciting to have that growth be recognized on a larger scale. 

Blessed Be!

Mabon, Fall Equinox.

At our house we are gearing up for the upcoming celebration of Mabon or the Fall Equinox for the rest of the world.  Traditionally the Fall Equinox is celebrated on or Around September 21st. The equinoxes are focused on balance between physical light and darkness as well as spiritual light and darkness.  In my post on coven cosmology, we view Mabon as the 2nd Harvest or the height of the fall season, not the true start of  fall as in the meteorological system.

In
Wiccan tradition and goddess spirituality, Mabon is the time of year we celebrate the Goddess becoming the Crone and the God becoming the wise Sage. 

This is the time of year kids return to school or adults to college classes. Football season is firmly started, the farmers market in my area are brimming with zucchini, pumpkin, and other goodies. The coffee houses start carrying their pumpkin pie spiced lattes and we in the northern tundra have a few more weeks before the snow starts to fly.  I do like this time of year the best mainly because of the groups of Canadian geese  that appear in the area, the start of the football season (go Gophers and Vikings) and that I can turn off my air conditioner briefly before I have to turn on my heater. 

So how does our coven and household celebrate this time of year? Glad you asked that question. This is one of those times of year that I deep clean the house from top to bottom before we are holed up during the long Minnesota winter. I rent a rug doctor to shampoo the carpets and I have to leave the windows and the door open to get some good air flow through the house. I also follow the air cleansing with a sage smudging and salt water sprinkling. If its been a particularly bad year we switch out the white sage with asafoetida.
We feed our house spirits and land spirits by offering the best quality organic cream,eggs, honey, and whole grain bread we can afford ( We use a potato/onion loaf or a rye bread). We also offer mead, hard cider, or whiskey as well.Coffee is kept on the altar as well as whatever tea we are into.  We also usually have a pot luck for folks and play card games or watch whatever tv show we are into at the moment so this year it will either be Hell On Wheels or The Walking Dead. Those of us who like having discussions on the parable around that episode go outside and have discussions on how the show relates to themes of the season.

Mainly we honor the God/dess for the good harvest our labors have brought and our friends and family that have labored with us.

As we prepare to welcome in the Crone and the Sage, may you be blessed by your own harvests and their wisdom in your life.

Blessed Be!

Creating Change and Understanding Your Patterns.

Welcome back folks.

Once upon a time, I did a lot of sitting, drinking coffee, and listening to Orval LookingHorse speak to my class about genetic history. The stuff that is deeply embedded into our dna that can express itself as past life memory, collective subconscious, or just that thing that you KNOW happened or KNOW how to do because it is as natural to you as breathing.  One of the things that Mr LookingHorse and his wife spoke to us about was studies that were done on schools of small fish. An electrical current was passes through the water at one end of the tank. Four generations later, the offspring of that surviving school would not go to the end of the tank where the genocide occurred.

When we examine the motivation behind why we do things, sometimes it is as simple as that's the way its always been. Each spring and each fall, I NEED to have the windows and doors of my house open for a full 24 to 48 hours as a sort of wind cleansing.  The more blustery the day the better. It is not something I learned in a book. When my Grandma M first saw me do it and light incense afterwards she said, my mom use to do that all the time.  I would like to think that I open those doors and windows from genetic memory than anything I have observed. It is a tempting trap. But what about less benign behaviors like bullying, oppression, and dehumanization?

I remember that we use to visit a log cabin in Ponca State Park with my great grandpa. The cabin was the site of the first Indian massacre of white people. The acknowledge story being that Indians came one day and killed the women and children that were home and waited for the husband and men to return and killed them too.  Savage Indians brutally shedding innocent blood.  However, maybe they weren't so innocent.

I once asked great grandpa why this was of interest to him.  He liked history and collected bullets. He also liked collecting stories. He spoke to the old ones who remembered the events when he was much younger. He said what the state history left out was that the Old Man and his sons use to shoot the Indian women and children from across the riverbank like it was a game. The Indians were retaliating against the innocent slaughter of their people.

Something to contemplate.

We have a strong push in our society to stop bullying and senseless acts of violence. Being a survivor of bully's for most of my life and striving for a more compassionate society I totally support this cultural change.
Redemption then becomes not just  spiritual issue but fighting against the patterns that are hardwired into us. A sort of rewriting of the code for you software folks out there.  It does require choosing to be conscious about what you are doing and not just being reactive. Positive results are possible.

If you told me four years ago I would be fairly secure in a job I actually liked, even when I was stressed out I would tell you that you were wrong. However, I am. I made a choice to stop running from my own bad behaviors and be less reactionary. I hate to sit and think things through it does not come naturally but it is coming and it is producing results. True transformation can never be about wishful thinking. Our natural coding forbids it. However, it does happen when we surrender our ego and are willing to see what we want to be and forge ahead with those changes not matter how much it may not seem logical. We have to have patience. We have to have faith. We have to have the tenacity to never give up and to see it through to the end.

Blessed Be.

Behavioral Patterning vs clairvoyance Part II

I wanted to clarify something from my last post.

I do believe that total clairvoyance can be possible.  I know several talented clairvoyant folks who use their skills in everything from giving readings to other people, healing psychological and physical issues to finding answers to engineering and physics issues.  Clairvoyance for me meaning that there are people out there that are so connected to the divine that they have constant words of knowledge for folks.

Needless to say I have always considered myself to be a pattern reader more than a classic oracle. I do get visions, flashes of insight and words of knowledge around particular situations or people. However, most of the times when I sit down with someone, the more accurate readings come from a combination of understanding human behaviors as well as being open to spirit.

I can be accused of being mechanistic in regards to the Lady and her Consort and the mysteries of the universe. However, if we truly practice a nature based religion that is based on our interconnection then we still need to have a logical approach to how those connections are interwoven.

Even my spell work does tend to be a bit more practical/mechanistic when it comes to sympathetic magick. If I am looking for a job then I have not only my resume on my altar but I also have visualizations of the basic qualities of that work. At the moment, I am wanting to add a male lover for myself to our happy clan. As much as I would love a particular fantasy to happen, I am more focusing the spell on the qualities vs a particular person. Yes, there are days my younger self or lizard brain needs glittery wands and candles to connect to the magick and there are other day that I more want my army of orcs or litches to do my bidding than the lighter side (even if they are my War Hammer miniatures or miniatures from one of the many zombie games) . However, I fully acknowledge that unless I am willing to back up that wishful thinking with real world work towards the end results then all I am doing is wishing and mental masturbation.

Prediction Through Divination and Behavioral Observations

I love the art and science of divination. Sitting down with myself or with a client and throwing tarot is perhaps my absolute favorite form of divination even though I am fluent in several.

I have a confession to make though.  I find trying to have a reading as purely clairvoyent murky and more akin to storytelling than actually helping out a client. Its a fallback from my chemical dependency counseling days. I tend to rely on the story they are telling me on their behaviors and their desire to change a situation to actively and more accurately divine their future for lack of a better word.

Tarot cards are useful because they are a sort of universal language. Its a jumping board for a discussion on what is happening in the client's life or your own life. At any point in time you will experience any number of combination of the cards.

Behavioral prediction is more based off of the pattern that is actively developed by the person or group involved and what they are doing to support that change. As someone once said, "You have to plant watermelon seeds in order for watermelon to grow."

In a reading when someone asks about falling in love with Mr Right or Mr Right now, or finding that perfectly tailored job I go through what they cards show but I also follow that up with questions about what they are doing to support their desire.

No matter how much I may want that romantic date with Anson Mount, the reality is I do not run in the types of circles he runs in. I am not even sure he is polyamorus or would be open to such an arrangement. So realistic expectation? Not really, unless he starts working at the U of M or hanging out at CONvergence.  However, it is reasonable to expect to meet someone with similar qualities who is open to the arrangements our little happy crew has. Even with jobs, unless you are clear with yourself on what you want and are being open to possibilites, you won't get it. Very rarely do those types of wishes just land in  your lap.

Not to suck the mysticism out of divination or magick but the universe is still a very practical place based on action. 

With that, I will be writing about the upcoming holiday of Mabon and some deeper cosmology thoughts.

Blessed Be Gang.