April was a weird month and I am glad to see her go. On the positive end, Spring actually was spring in Minnesota and not just more snow. The song birds and owls have been very vocal in my neighborhood and the taco trucks have stared parking at the convenience store at the front of my trailer park community. Cold Press coffee is available again and I am an extremely grateful camper for this and so much more.
Beltane is about fertility and growth in the long and short of things. We have a full moon coming up very soon as well. Not to terribly unpredictable my intent for the month ahead is to continue to focus on healing both short term and long term and learning to work within my new limits and making them work for me.
My workings to back it up will include a new 21 day cycle of reiki self healing cycle and focusing on the Medicine Buddha and the face of Green Tara that fights infectious diseases. Most candle work is done with tea lights in my house since I have those in abundance. I will also be working with the native energies around here and using sage,cedar, sweet grass, and tobacco for incense offerings.
I will keep you all posted on how things go.
Blessed Be!
Friday, May 1, 2015
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Ethics
I am participating in a distance learning group for a coven. It is that time that we start talking about the why we are doing magic among other things.
I have been struggling this week with an infection that most people just take penicillin for and recover. Nope, had to do it the hard way and go through 6 days of ivs.
Most of us Wiccan ' s know by heart An it harm none do as you will We are also all very quick to point out that it means as long as I am not causing harm (directly) I can do whatever I want.
I am reminded at this point of something from the Christian mysteries that just because all things are permissible does not mean all things are beneficial.
I find myself being very tempted to go and hide from the world for a long while. Join a Buddhist monastery or otherwise until particular forces stop being a part of my life. Mainly because they don't think through how their actions really effect other people.
Yet I know that wouldn't be completely viable either because I do have a responsibility to my job and my community and family.
Tricky business emotional abuse and ethics. Best to give it to the Lord's of Karma and let them decide.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Dancing with Oya
The blood moon has been an interesting time of reflection and action. I have been working a lot with the goddess Oya. Orisha of tornadoes, change, keeper of the cemetery and oddly enough Queen of the market place. She is an interesting Lady to work with. I am focusing on her because of my own anger issues at the moment, the tornado that can be my life, my oracular skills and the changes that have been happening at both my job and home life.
I like working with the orishas because their mythology is very rich and active and relevant, at least to me. I also like working with the orisha because their relationships are messy, like mine. I have recently run across two congruent stories of Oya that involve her first husband, Ogun and her second husband Shango.
Ogun and Shango were rivals at everything. Shango knew that he could very easily get under Ogun's skin and usually did. Ogun fell madly in love with Oya and married her. Shortly after their marriage, Shango waited patiently for a time when Ogun was away on one of his trips and Oya was alone. He seduced Oya and Oya fell in love with him. He took her back with him to his kingdom in Oyo. When Ogun came home he realized where Oya was and went to win her back. When Oya was confronted by Ogun she said that Now that she had been with Shango, she would never go back with him again. Oya became one of Shango's favorite wives and frequently rode into battle with him.
At one time, Shango was celebrating away from his palace. His enemies decided to come and kidnap the king. Oya had stayed behind in the palace but was getting nervous that the king had not returned. She was informed that he had been kidnapped. Oya knew where Shango kept his thunder and lightening. She grabbed the lightening and rode in her tornado to rescue him. While Shango was relieved to see his wife he was upset and bewildered that she could use lightening. Since then Oya is always the first to use the lightening.
(Note, I am not an initiate so some of the details could be lost in translation.)
I bring the stories up because I am learning to accept some of the limitations I have because of my own choices. However, unlike last fall when I was feeling much more like Oba and shelved I am choosing to ride forth in my own power and authority. At one point I was having a lot of dreams that involved tornadoes and a messy spring season. While I still think weather wise we are in for a time, I am choosing to dance with the storms and be transformed by them instead of destroyed by them
I like working with the orishas because their mythology is very rich and active and relevant, at least to me. I also like working with the orisha because their relationships are messy, like mine. I have recently run across two congruent stories of Oya that involve her first husband, Ogun and her second husband Shango.
Ogun and Shango were rivals at everything. Shango knew that he could very easily get under Ogun's skin and usually did. Ogun fell madly in love with Oya and married her. Shortly after their marriage, Shango waited patiently for a time when Ogun was away on one of his trips and Oya was alone. He seduced Oya and Oya fell in love with him. He took her back with him to his kingdom in Oyo. When Ogun came home he realized where Oya was and went to win her back. When Oya was confronted by Ogun she said that Now that she had been with Shango, she would never go back with him again. Oya became one of Shango's favorite wives and frequently rode into battle with him.
At one time, Shango was celebrating away from his palace. His enemies decided to come and kidnap the king. Oya had stayed behind in the palace but was getting nervous that the king had not returned. She was informed that he had been kidnapped. Oya knew where Shango kept his thunder and lightening. She grabbed the lightening and rode in her tornado to rescue him. While Shango was relieved to see his wife he was upset and bewildered that she could use lightening. Since then Oya is always the first to use the lightening.
(Note, I am not an initiate so some of the details could be lost in translation.)
I bring the stories up because I am learning to accept some of the limitations I have because of my own choices. However, unlike last fall when I was feeling much more like Oba and shelved I am choosing to ride forth in my own power and authority. At one point I was having a lot of dreams that involved tornadoes and a messy spring season. While I still think weather wise we are in for a time, I am choosing to dance with the storms and be transformed by them instead of destroyed by them
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Happy Ostara or Spring Equinox To the Rest of the World
It feels odd that we here in Minnesota are thawing out.
No snow on the ground in the southern part and I am able to have coffee on my front porch without freezing. (A ritual from back in the day when I was a smoker,)
Ostara is about new beginnings, fresh starts and hope for a brighter future.
In a Wiccan context it is the time of the year when the Great Goddes as Maiden is exploring her world and being in wonder and awe of it. It is also about being in balance as there is an equilibrium that is naturally happening that can be tapped into to balance out our lives in the most mundane ways and spiritual ways.
There is much that I am grateful for that is in the most delicate stages of a new beginning. For me, I can be hot tempered and impatient so I have to take extra steps to be more experiential orientated than goal orientated. I am continuing to walk the path of a dharma pagan to better cultivate having a calmer spirit and more patience.
As we progress through the early part of spring, I would offer up this simple meditation to help keep things in balance....
Find one white or light stone and one dark stone in equal size
Hold white stone in right hand and dark stone in left hand while you meditate on your energy and your life being in complete balance.
When you are done leave the stones on your altar as a reminder that the Goddess is a benevolent goddess and will give you all that you need for your successful growth.
While I may complain about certain circumstances, this is the meditation I use to remind me that all things are in balance and there will be good to balance out the bad.
Happy Spring!
Note if you would like more information or reiki training or healing please contact me.
No snow on the ground in the southern part and I am able to have coffee on my front porch without freezing. (A ritual from back in the day when I was a smoker,)
Ostara is about new beginnings, fresh starts and hope for a brighter future.
In a Wiccan context it is the time of the year when the Great Goddes as Maiden is exploring her world and being in wonder and awe of it. It is also about being in balance as there is an equilibrium that is naturally happening that can be tapped into to balance out our lives in the most mundane ways and spiritual ways.
There is much that I am grateful for that is in the most delicate stages of a new beginning. For me, I can be hot tempered and impatient so I have to take extra steps to be more experiential orientated than goal orientated. I am continuing to walk the path of a dharma pagan to better cultivate having a calmer spirit and more patience.
As we progress through the early part of spring, I would offer up this simple meditation to help keep things in balance....
Find one white or light stone and one dark stone in equal size
Hold white stone in right hand and dark stone in left hand while you meditate on your energy and your life being in complete balance.
When you are done leave the stones on your altar as a reminder that the Goddess is a benevolent goddess and will give you all that you need for your successful growth.
While I may complain about certain circumstances, this is the meditation I use to remind me that all things are in balance and there will be good to balance out the bad.
Happy Spring!
Note if you would like more information or reiki training or healing please contact me.
Monday, March 2, 2015
March Full Moon Ramblings for my own benefit...
In a few days the full moon of March will be here and I am getting itchy. Feeling my power if you will but also know that it needs to be diverted for just a moment for my healing process. I mentioned earlier learning the differences between dreams and predictive dreams.
I can hear the groans now but because I am starting a new seeker program and will be doing a lot more documentation than normal its observation and note taking.
You can have the best written dream interpretation material out there but only you really understand your own symbols.
For instance, if I am just dreaming for the sake of rem I actually dream in black and white and it is not first person point of view. I dream and remember most of my life as if I am watching myself on a movie screen. (Yes, dissociation from emotional abuse and spiritual abuse as a kid.However, dissociation can also be a part of trance but I will get into that later......)
At one point I read that if you dream between 3am and 6am on a regular sleep schedule it is usually precognitive in nature. This is debatable depending on what constitutes a normal sleep schedule. The bigger difference is that my precog dreams are in color and usually have a particular sound/tone to them.
When you study something like witchcraft or divination in general and you are keeping a dream journal it is just as important to write down how the information is being communicated to you as much as the information itself. All leads to helping understand if its too much pizza or the divine talking to you.
Interpretation is tricky. If I am working something out in my brain it usually comes up as a zombie dream. If the situation is solvable I usually find some place of safety. If not, then I get eaten. That might not be the case for you. Just the thought of zombies may make it a lose/lose situation entirely. Chipping teeth in the common literature usually indicates feeling ashamed or guilty about something. For me, it means I am grinding my teeth again. My point being its only through documentation and critical evaluation that helps interpret the dream.
So about today's dream. I am still waiting for confirmation. What I do remember is that it was in color and a scrying pool with a scene of a lot of wind. Being we are heading into a spring equinox and I am going through my own refocusing and healing, I interpret it as positive change is coming as surely as spring itself and to expect a pretty blistery Idles of March and that the personal transformation I am seeking will be bumpy but will happen. Since Grandmother Spider is also happily in my minds eye weaving her web and not getting tossed about, I am also going to place a safe bet that I am making the connections I need to for the transformation to be positive and strong.
With that, I will note that I am still attempting to be a little more deliberate about the posts and working out process and goddess theology stuff. The flavor might change a little as I am working with a new to me teacher as well. We will see. I am looking forward to the adventure and am remembering the words of the great mother: we will never find without until we find it within first.
Blessed Be.
I can hear the groans now but because I am starting a new seeker program and will be doing a lot more documentation than normal its observation and note taking.
You can have the best written dream interpretation material out there but only you really understand your own symbols.
For instance, if I am just dreaming for the sake of rem I actually dream in black and white and it is not first person point of view. I dream and remember most of my life as if I am watching myself on a movie screen. (Yes, dissociation from emotional abuse and spiritual abuse as a kid.However, dissociation can also be a part of trance but I will get into that later......)
At one point I read that if you dream between 3am and 6am on a regular sleep schedule it is usually precognitive in nature. This is debatable depending on what constitutes a normal sleep schedule. The bigger difference is that my precog dreams are in color and usually have a particular sound/tone to them.
When you study something like witchcraft or divination in general and you are keeping a dream journal it is just as important to write down how the information is being communicated to you as much as the information itself. All leads to helping understand if its too much pizza or the divine talking to you.
Interpretation is tricky. If I am working something out in my brain it usually comes up as a zombie dream. If the situation is solvable I usually find some place of safety. If not, then I get eaten. That might not be the case for you. Just the thought of zombies may make it a lose/lose situation entirely. Chipping teeth in the common literature usually indicates feeling ashamed or guilty about something. For me, it means I am grinding my teeth again. My point being its only through documentation and critical evaluation that helps interpret the dream.
So about today's dream. I am still waiting for confirmation. What I do remember is that it was in color and a scrying pool with a scene of a lot of wind. Being we are heading into a spring equinox and I am going through my own refocusing and healing, I interpret it as positive change is coming as surely as spring itself and to expect a pretty blistery Idles of March and that the personal transformation I am seeking will be bumpy but will happen. Since Grandmother Spider is also happily in my minds eye weaving her web and not getting tossed about, I am also going to place a safe bet that I am making the connections I need to for the transformation to be positive and strong.
With that, I will note that I am still attempting to be a little more deliberate about the posts and working out process and goddess theology stuff. The flavor might change a little as I am working with a new to me teacher as well. We will see. I am looking forward to the adventure and am remembering the words of the great mother: we will never find without until we find it within first.
Blessed Be.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
BDSM Lifestyle and 50 Shades of No Thank You.....
I am going to out myself here. Some of you may choose to stop reading or associating with me but the only people I cared about knowing are no longer on this earth so here it goes....
I am a submissive pain slut and service submissive. I have been for many years. I have been to parties, meet ups and discussion groups and have done a ton of reading and talking. Not an academic expert but an armchair expert no the less.
I read 50 Shades of Grey but I will not see the film. I think it over simplifies a cultural divide and many people will read and see it because it talks about sex and we are ever so curious about sex but to afraid to actually talk about it plainly.
My most recent mood is being overshadowed by an unwarented media take that bdsm sex boils down to sadistic males being abusing to masoginistic females and god help you if you are a part of it.
There is a lot I would like to say but to be empowing and a lady: stop punishing those of use who are not in a monogamous, straight lifestyle choice. Its that simple. Just because I like sadistic sex does not mean my partner is abusing me or disempowering me.
There is a very plain line between between being in a scene with someone and all acts being consensual and non consenual sex. If your partner says no or red or your safe word you're done. If you go beyond it its non consensual.
Most vanilla type people look at us and assumea variety of things.
To dispel some myths any type of dom/sub, master slave relationship usually does go through several rounds of negotiations on acceptable types of play and what boundaries are okay to cross or not.
It is also usually assumed that just because I am a submissive does not make me YOUR submissive nor does you being a dom make you MY dom. Normal relationship structures do still apply.
To get back to my point with 50 Shades... it over simplifies. Even within the bdsm communities there are great debates on types of play, if safe words should be used or if all play should be risk aware once a dom/sub relationship is established. There are protocol debates on EVERYTHING.
Don't assume. Ask questions. Get over the idea that sex should just be for straight people in a loving relationship who want to have kids. You'll be a lot happier. Trust me.
I am a submissive pain slut and service submissive. I have been for many years. I have been to parties, meet ups and discussion groups and have done a ton of reading and talking. Not an academic expert but an armchair expert no the less.
I read 50 Shades of Grey but I will not see the film. I think it over simplifies a cultural divide and many people will read and see it because it talks about sex and we are ever so curious about sex but to afraid to actually talk about it plainly.
My most recent mood is being overshadowed by an unwarented media take that bdsm sex boils down to sadistic males being abusing to masoginistic females and god help you if you are a part of it.
There is a lot I would like to say but to be empowing and a lady: stop punishing those of use who are not in a monogamous, straight lifestyle choice. Its that simple. Just because I like sadistic sex does not mean my partner is abusing me or disempowering me.
There is a very plain line between between being in a scene with someone and all acts being consensual and non consenual sex. If your partner says no or red or your safe word you're done. If you go beyond it its non consensual.
Most vanilla type people look at us and assumea variety of things.
To dispel some myths any type of dom/sub, master slave relationship usually does go through several rounds of negotiations on acceptable types of play and what boundaries are okay to cross or not.
It is also usually assumed that just because I am a submissive does not make me YOUR submissive nor does you being a dom make you MY dom. Normal relationship structures do still apply.
To get back to my point with 50 Shades... it over simplifies. Even within the bdsm communities there are great debates on types of play, if safe words should be used or if all play should be risk aware once a dom/sub relationship is established. There are protocol debates on EVERYTHING.
Don't assume. Ask questions. Get over the idea that sex should just be for straight people in a loving relationship who want to have kids. You'll be a lot happier. Trust me.
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Blessed Imbolc
On February 2nd we celebrate the first right of spring known as Imbolc or Candlemass.
In Celtics based traditions it is the time of year that honors the coming of the light. The days get noticeably longer, the candles for the rest of spring and the seeds for the next planting season as well as the blessing of the growing season ahead.
So for my own life I am a solitary practitioner in several areas. I am working through the process of joining a cyber coven that celebrates the diversity of our world. There are two distinct groups I am interviewing with and learning from.
In my regular life I am moving to a smaller clinic next week. I have also been blessed with the chance to develop friendships that stalled during the healing from my divorce and the death of my grandmother. I am grateful for the opportunities I am being gifted with to show my growth through my behaviors and by starting to write out what I have learned so far.
I look forward to the light growing in my life as I continue to heal the broken pieces. I appreciate all of you who are on this journey with me.
Blessed Be.
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