BDSM Lifestyle and 50 Shades of No Thank You.....

I am going to out myself here. Some of you may choose to stop reading or associating with me but the only people I cared about knowing are no longer on this earth so here it goes....

I am a submissive pain slut and service submissive. I have been for many years. I have been to parties, meet ups and discussion groups and have done a ton of reading and talking. Not an academic expert but an armchair expert no the less.

I read 50 Shades of Grey but I will not see the film.  I think it over simplifies a cultural divide and many people will read and see it because it talks about sex and we are ever so curious about sex but to afraid to actually talk about it plainly.

My most recent mood is being overshadowed by an unwarented media take that bdsm sex boils down to sadistic males being abusing to masoginistic females and god help you if you are a part of it.

There is a lot I would like to say but to be empowing and a lady: stop punishing those of use who are not in a monogamous, straight lifestyle choice. Its that simple. Just because I like sadistic sex does not mean my partner is abusing me or disempowering me.

There is a very plain line between between being in a scene with someone and all acts being consensual and non consenual sex. If your partner says no or red or your safe word you're done. If you go beyond it its non consensual.

Most vanilla type people look at us and assumea variety of things.

To dispel some myths any type of dom/sub, master slave relationship usually does go through several rounds of negotiations on acceptable types of play and what boundaries are okay to cross or not.

It is also usually assumed that just because I am a submissive does not make me YOUR submissive nor does you being a dom make you MY dom. Normal relationship structures do still apply.

To get back to my point with 50 Shades... it over simplifies. Even within the bdsm communities there are great debates on types of play, if safe words should be used or if all play should be risk aware once a dom/sub relationship is established.  There are protocol debates on EVERYTHING.

Don't assume. Ask questions. Get over the idea that sex should just be for straight people in a loving relationship who want to have kids. You'll be a lot happier. Trust me.

Blessed Imbolc

On February 2nd we celebrate the first right of spring known as Imbolc or Candlemass.

In Celtics based traditions it is the time of year that honors the coming of the light. The days get noticeably longer, the candles for the rest of spring and the seeds for the next planting season as well as the blessing of the growing season ahead.

So for my own life I am a solitary practitioner in several areas. I am working through the process of joining a cyber coven that celebrates the diversity of our world. There are two distinct groups I am interviewing with and learning from.

In my regular life I am moving to a smaller clinic next week. I have also been blessed with the chance to develop friendships that stalled during the healing from my divorce and the death of my grandmother. I am grateful for the opportunities I am being gifted with to show my growth through my behaviors and by starting to write out what I have learned so far.

I look forward to the light growing in my life as I continue to heal the broken pieces. I appreciate all of you who are on this journey with me.

Blessed Be.