I love my job. We have a well defined process for everything. There is a certain amount of comfort in knowing that there is a plan. In class today I was reminded of the process around what happens when our servers fail and where to locate the things we would need to still continue to function. One my my biggest frustrations with my health at the moment is that there really is no Disaster Kit.
Insurance is a beautiful luxury. Having folks to call on and physically be there is also a luxury. What happens when despite all the planning and having the luxuries of insurance, people, and the ability to execute the plan fail? Bouncing back from failure is not something we are really trained to do in our culture. We talk about it in grand terms like resiliency and efficacy but at the end of the day what does that really mean?
When I was in training to be a chemical dependency counselor we discussed efficacy as the ability to bounce back from negative situations and those talks were usually attached to a process called brief therapy. Essentially beginning problem solving starting with If your life was suddenly perfect what would like look like? Followed by additional questions of what are the steps you can take now to move in that direction.
We get so bogged down into manifesting the big picture we forget that it happens in incremental stages that only a snail or glaciers can appreciate. What I find most frustrating is that while I have asked myself those questions I am not even sure my vision of a perfect outcome would ever be possible. A body free from physical pain and other unspoken heart fantasies. However, the reality is I would like a couple of long discussions with my healthcare team and support group on what realistic outcomes are of our current course and what can be done to stay as healthy as I can for as long as I can and to be loved for as long as I can. Is that really too much to ask?
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