Contemplative Cosmic Belly Button Lint of the Day/Week

I constantly mull around my own behavioral patterns and mental processes to help deal with all the crap that comes our way wither we want it or not. Lately, I find myself being equally angered and bewildered on how much I have let other people control my relationships (romantic, platonic, or otherwise).

I am embarrassed to admit that because of the years of emotional abuse and isolation, I have begun to feel that getting so have time with other people is a reward/punishment for how much my behavor has pleased my partner. Even if I know logically that I am not seeing someone because I am tired or other events in my or their life have superceded getting together there is still an underlying conviction that either the gods are punishing me for something or if it is the other party cancelling that they are punishing me for something. The degree of that conviction is usually equal to the amount of other events have been cancelled or denied that week or that day.

I am also ashamed to admit that I have been letting my inner Smeagol rule the response to said events. If Smeagol is an obtuse reference for you non Tolkein friends I join my previous detractors in a chorus of :"You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you."

So what have I been doing to stop Smeagol and possibily something you can do too?

I have been doing daily self blessing rituals. The one I like the best is something modified from the Garderarian kids....
Tools: Favorite candle color, favorite incense, favorite cake and ale offering

Ground and Center
Cast a circle if you desire
Call Watchtowers if you desire
Call God, Goddess of your choice
Call the ancesotors

Thank you Lord and Lady for creating me to be your divine daughter/son.
Blessed Be my feet that have brought me along the way.
Blessed be my knees that kneel at the sacred altar.
Blessed be my womb/phallus that issues forth life.
Blessed be my ears for hearing the words of the gods.
Blessed be my mouth for speaking their wisdom.

So mote it be.

Continue to think about all the good quaities you have and the friends and family you are blessed with. Continue to imagine the road and door open to receive positive relationships that are mutualy encouraging.

When you are ready, offer up the cake and ale offering and consume.
Dismiss the circle, etc and journal the experience.

move on when you are ready.


If you are involved in any reiki work, this is a good time to do an attunement on yourself. If you are a 2nd degree or high the use of the symbols and their names as a mantra can also significantly help.

Blessed Be.